Entering the DARK NIGHT

At the beginning of my individual journey, when I was first beginning to lay the foundation for my spiritual/mental/existential/psychological/metaphysical growth, the idea of a "Dark Night" was mentioned. I wasn't sure at the time what it meant, and at this point I know its impossible to understand such an event until you are immersed in it. The event is incredibly private and in many ways can be considered excruciating, and to be honest, anyone on the journey to "enlightenment" will experience multiple, unique versions of the experience. I guess the best way to explain it is this, the dark night is a time when the entire external world, the one you used to view as reality, seemingly turns against

you, the worst part being that you completely lose understanding of what it was, and have no idea how to protect yourself from "it". You suddenly become a stranger in a strange world, isolated and alone, with only your "feelings" to guide you though(it is important to note that your feelings aren't exactly "positive"). On the surface level, something within your world will seemingly begin to crumble, something which your "ego" is strongly attached to. The pain associated with this crumbling I can only describe as the burning/incinerating of what you once viewed as your "self". You can no longer be who you used to be, and that identity is burned before you as you helplessly watch and wonder, will this be the end. The things you once found solace in on your journey fail to serve their purpose, and you are forced to confront the very foundation upon which you used to view the world around you. The change during this period is immense, and shortly after the start you barely recognize who you are moment to moment, let alone day to day. You seem to be changing exponentially, and with every change, your past identity becomes more and more distant until it is a faint, flickering light. In other words, the person you thought you were dies a horrific, brutal, and merciless death(ironically by its own hand). This is what the dark night is about, the death of the sickly ego, the one which you were unknowingly tied to. The ego convinces us that we are it, and when it dies, our identification with it is the source of the individual suffering we experience. It screams, pleads, cries out for us to protect it, but if we are serious about our transformation, we allow it to burn, we allow it to transform. Now that I painted a vivid picture of what the dark night is about, I will turn on to a more positive note. The dark night is the greatest gift you can receive. It does not seem like it during the process, but the death/rebirth of you(ego) is the process by which your new, seemingly greater self emerges. Through the smoldering ashes, a phoenix of who you actually are emerges. This phoenix of which I speak holds greater understanding, capacity for love, and appreciation for the world around it, no longer being dependant on concepts/ideas. The new self simply appreciates, and lives with unconditional love for all things. This is the point of the journey, to destroy/transform the sickly ego and uncover the true infinite self. I feel it more and more everyday, even though I have to admit, my battle is not over. I know that I must die many more deaths in order to get where Im going, but that doesn't matter. What matters is I now understand where I am going and my ego is no longer in control, it has become secondary to my true self, and I know it only holds power that I give it. I leave you with this, when you reach this inevitable step, recognize what it is. This will help you to disconnect/detach, giving you distance from the fires that consume your false identity. By this point, your higher self is something which is accessible and you will need to remain in this "mode" throughout the duration of the dark night in order to function day to day. The good thing is at this point, the toggle to the higher self is pretty natural, and you will almost automatically make the switch. Stay with it and focus on the light at the end of the tunnel, know that no actually harm can come to you and trust your intuition. If you do this, the journey can almost be enjoyable at times. Lastly, and most importantly, always express your love, appreciation, and gratitude as these are your most important tools on this journey. LOVE UNCONDITIONALLY.